TO POLLIANUS AND EURYDICE WITH PLUTARCH'S BEST WISHES.
WHEN they were shutting you in your bridal chamber, the ancestral
ritual was duly applied to you by the priestess of Demeter. I believe
that now, if reason also were to take you in hand and join in the
nuptial song, it would prove of some service, and would support the tune
as prescribed. In the musical world they used to call one of the modes
for the flute "the Horse-and-Mare", because, apparently, the strains in
that key were provocative of union between those animals. Well,
philosophy has many excellent sermons to give, but none more worthy of
serious attention than that upon marriage. By it she exerts a spell upon
those who come together as partners in life, and renders them gentle
and tractable to each other. I have, therefore, taken the main points of
the lessons which you have repeatedly heard, brought up as you have
been in the company of Philosophy. I have arranged them in a series of
brief comparisons to make them easier to remember, and am sending them
as a present to you both. In doing so I pray that the Muses may
graciously lend aid to Aphrodite, since, if it is their province to see
that a lyre or a harp shall be in tune, it is no less so to provide that
the music of the married home shall be harmonized by reason and
philosophy. When people in olden times assigned a seat with Aphrodite to
Hermes, it was because the pleasure of marriage stands in special need
of reason; when to Persuasion and the Graces, it was in order that the
married pair might obtain their wishes from each other by means of
persuasion, and not by contention and strife
THE RULES
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWKD5Q2_UH6INNOV1gbjhMzTYKSmz79ShyphenhyphenghbDPlbsf_p1HrP8woQr1qicfaYL_-GP7pBXbZDhIISSTMJ6P7g4fMLYLVBEmEZXgKmVESFDpWv09t_gBc1J3oCAF9oNe3VSP_B7AwbngKIX/s200/quince-pear.jpg)
1. Solon bade the bride eat a piece of quince before coming to the
bridegroom's arms--apparently an enigmatical suggestion that, as a first
requirement, a pleasant and inviting impression should be gathered from
an agreeable mouth and speech.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg56fHpvepQwQWcTffKP1mT-f_LosEM6lm_1kt9fChQmr0SgRG0GzWQXW3IGitfrupLYRxoGN5dxiBnTIuJDioMFoLiEbU0V1qQ2N21BbydEU2jxFE5YygaZHJiSxx6AMor_OoVpGt5sWe1/s200/Crown+of+Asparagus.jpg)
2. In Boeotia, after veiling the bride, they crown her with a wreath
of thorny asparagus. As that plant yields the sweetest eating from
among the roughest prickles, so a bride, if the groom does not run away
in disgust because he finds her difficult and vexatious at first, will
afford him a sweet and gentle companionship. One who shows no patience
with the girl's first bickerings is as bad as those who let the ripe
grapes go because once they were sour. Many a young bride is affected in
the same way. First experiences disgust her with the bridegroom, and
she makes as great a mistake as if, after enduring the sting of the bee,
she were to abandon the honeycomb.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbuK_xqZvKxtFFlo0q2Y1u1uvLzFb8T0_XKCjX1yS_A6Nrys4s_yKMslOn41fj1_8BbCt7N3VmpolcDsM5azFXT32YIXKyS58T4PgkjDlyShkoEx0-8L-OGSG1RhrdtS1f38caSw_-kqob/s200/Roman+Ship.jpg)
3. It is especially at the beginning that married people should
beware of quarrel and friction. Let them note how vessels which have
been mended will at first easily pull to pieces on the slightest
occasion, but as time goes on and they become solid at the seams, it is
as much as fire and iron can do to separate the parts.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-QWhPsCGgLhxHvYtSabB2mQN6WtLWhyhZppYKJMSrLQwUW67bg6tzniKCdlJDo3g028ItzBZo5pkG6wcqC53j_EWkMJXDnIW7l0aDnZBWiNfzq23ozlKYI47p6riktfHboj9MjF0XvM2Y/s200/560_flamingtinder.JPG)
4. Fire is readily kindled in chaff, dry rushes, or hare's fur, but
quickly goes out unless it gets a further hold upon something capable
both of keeping it in and feeding it. So with that fierce blare of
passion which is produced in the newly- married by physical enjoyment.
You must not rely upon it nor expect it to last, unless it is built
round the moral character, gets a hold upon your rational part, and so
obtains a permanent vitality.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5rS4lCpStXfiKYE-BsmE_1rQeUqor7WSRZW1S6wZs5nlwmHx0kyXsptTKXw2HX2L9E-Ke-MCLMmcdaXWxzFkn9LlwMoZSzxLQU4m0Z7Btm8QVX1fTSv4QFSWRoev6rjRrmv-WGRvq0ewS/s200/Bewitched.jpg)
5. Doctoring the water is no doubt a quick and easy way of catching
fish, but it renders them bad and uneatable. So when women work
artificially upon their husbands with philtres and spells, and control
them by the agency of pleasure, they have but crazy simpletons and
dotards for their partners. While Circe derived no good from the men she
had bewitched, and made no use of them when turned into swine and
asses, she found the greatest pleasure in the rational companionship of
the wise Odysseus.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDpLtZkQ1cfaObCfQU7BHmvegZ6N4HCk8NiM5cRUhakTT8Kl7Fy8IR-bZ7a3LretBCOK1RSGnM4Bk8LP_rr5wzIfcANY9MBVkFDZ3hfYhXR8wrknVdYAdwBYTA3-nm-GO9BDO0aDzaYMIs/s200/BlindLeadingTheBlind.gif)
6. A woman who is more desirous of ruling a foolish husband than of
obeying a wise one, is like a traveller who would rather lead a blind
man than follow one who possesses sight and knowledge.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX_dltnDzC1iQ9i-75cWxxjcH0j62G9aCeZXlF4oWdmmElIfUadY3lEa81CpgbGZ8GEp5eu7TxFz6taojH3yyxjyc6aNyKsGfqlQCdO3OU41XLjc73ZWyb_dobEfNScIjtgNktcmKAyK9H/s200/mystery.jpg)
7. Why should people disbelieve that Pasiphae, though consort to a
King, fell in love with an ox, when they see that some women find a
strict and continent husband wearisome, and prefer to live with one who
is as much a mass of ungoverned sensuality as a dog or a goat?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdiE_ezikRDC62HIdWv7-H59GKgMcUGz0322nnc05MEwMEbcZ06B0fNZOEPHk7GcBB_0JBtADbtNIrl_sZwS_X_x_61MpGKz7SohijSIMh8w175JYw9QbW-dqXexLO-r-wW0Mz8PWWKM_s/s200/6702889577_7fa5ef20eb_b.jpg)
8. When a rider is too weak or effeminate to vault upon a horse, he
teaches the animal itself to bend its legs and crouch. In the same way
some men who marry high-born or wealthy women, instead of improving
themselves, put indignities upon their wives, in the belief that they
will he more easily ruled when humbled. The proper course is, while
using the rein, to maintain the dignity of the wife, as one would the
full height of the horse.
![PRINCIPLES OF SEDUCTION](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IlLDHNQZvt-6f0reZGtmpvAZcMYfVxvGITIXzECWsRew7Smkm_HXRaHYfWke1R0XNN92YbEIR8ih5LlHMMIvs2kbG9CPi3ggdUyiHZ22zrmK0PDqdUKOdDh9_3GhyBDo2Z6n6RFM-0g/s200/Principles+of+Seduction+-+Table+of+Contents1.jpg) |
Click Pic for "Principles of Seduction" |
![THE MASCULINE PRINCIPLE](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFyZdmWUXWvSun2KzMLrjSX9FyscRPSMCov7EuXax58CrDa1Ep9JYuHZtsni2_ZJ4Pga-_Qhc1ULgTDuDI2UeIdTmbPWQ1s7Lm0T5EMi3pAae5wyeTSThQInMAmrhK1dtkT-dPkZNuGBg/s200/The+Masculine+Principle+-+Table+of+Contents.jpg) |
Click Pic for "The Masculine Principle" |
9. When the moon is at a distance from the sun, we see it bright and
luminous. When it comes near him, it fades and is lost to view. With a
properly conducted woman it is the contrary. She should be most
visible when with her husband; in his absence she should keep at home
and out of sight.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN6ZJR7QHoyXl3A1QxI7aDIYtpnxrs8ejb24-3YoPGcwSuNt9nvO83xbRVmxj7cqrru6_5eA0K6QV1X923ySvSQrJXc9npatUnCEfUqbW8VZRVcPWAzvqiUHTbeGjkavTK1OZcK-PW8i9S/s200/funny_music_note_clip_art_12237.jpg)
10. Herodotus was wrong in saying that when a woman lays aside her
tunic she lays aside her modesty. On the contrary, a chaste wife puts on
modesty in its place. Between married persons the token of greatest
regard is greatest modesty.
11. If two notes are taken in accord, the lower of the two is the
dominant. So, though every action in a well-conducted house is performed
by both parties in tune, it will reveal the husband's leadership and
priority of choice.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDXcIQY0uroyFG9o56JGA9wc9e-C41CadzJuRrnVChwytYCF86cf6jp84psUcNDLEI-Hw4TrsaITOHCK7YBC8Bx30XXekw2K_sOYZo9rmCuASQgGQgjDIlTT2KvVRt_nRbjpkNC5i8_s_d/s320/the-north-wind-and-the-sun-milo-winter.png)
12. The Sun vanquished the North Wind. When the wind endeavoured to
take off the man's cloak by violence and blowing a gale, he only
tightened his mantle the more and held it the closer. But when, after
the wind, the sun became hot, the man began to grow warm. When at last
he sweltered, he took off not only his cloak but his tunic. This parable
applies to the generality of women. When their husbands take violent
measures to do away with extravagant indulgence, they show fight and
temper; but if you reason with them, they give it up peaceably and
practise moderation.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGrFfCNjFKPM-MYL4Gvnu-mdU3QWqq-WsZZGb0Pn2m80rGNCvfQRsuBAncAyvR4Yumx1hz7LUgPoMkMcgclkPRiEp89xuOJ6UlCeX5meIQex7GCeG1mAjmvYk5QNknsurgE7euD0kxpW2/s200/Rent+a+Room.jpg)
13. Cato expelled from the Senate a man who had kissed his own wife
in the presence of his daughter. This, perhaps, was too severe a step.
But if--as is the case--it is unseemly to be fondling and kissing and
embracing each other in company, it is surely more unseemly to be
scolding and quarrelling in company, and, while treating your
love-passages as a sacred secret between you and your wife, to make an
open display of fault- finding and reproach.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBcq0Q_t8Q3Ha-tTUrFcZpeAFRC3e9HZBttFWE6Nsun_DKlW9UkH5bijRhPNNtInsxm76hfLFXPlOewjsvTtgPdc8jHL6hLmNJUarNa3V2HHoqzHQ3fyOLeuEu-R3WIpA37vlXjZ7lyH9c/s200/mirrors_600.jpg)
14. A mirror,1 though decorated with gold and precious stones, is of
no use unless it shows you your form true to life. Similarly there is
no advantage in a rich wife, if her conduct does not represent that of
her husband and harmonize with it in character. If the reflection which
it offers is glum when you are joyful, but wears a merry grin when you
are gloomy and distressed, the mirror is faulty and bad. A wife is a
poor thing and out of place if she is in the dumps when her husband is
disposed for frolic or love-making, but is all fun and laughter when he
is serious. In the former case she in disagreeable; in the latter, she
slights you. Geometers tell us that lines and surfaces make no movement
by themselves, but only in conjunction with the bodies to which they
belong. In the same way a woman should be free from peculiar states of
mind of her own, but should act as the husband's partner in his
earnestness and his jest, in his preoccupation and his laughter.
1 Made of polished bronze.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNqylBbzezVpnfomWy48F0we-piikI9V5w9_ffSLzQD68I4otgHlvyE7Qdl2g6R3Qo7sGzYZHMwDVm6Kjx40VaAm83LZYVCwdaZdZVPVscpyG1Z2euGV8aEvqYQbqlvbLd_S4xkPnjcsF/s200/Make+Me+A+Sandwich.jpg) |
"Mmmm...She Made Sammiches! |
15. A man who dislikes to see his wife eating with him, teaches her
to satisfy her appetite when she gets by herself. Similarly one who is
never a merry companion to her, nor shares in her sport and laughter,
teaches her to look for private pleasures apart from him.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qSIyfP-kfCN56_3aQUz3IzD9mQXM6UbVwZEjLnb7XV8-HM0uZyJ4IhdN1e1SBZww_9b6IJcTMJFimkAqWSzi_VFDN0w7R2sR0DQHzmskw22a8yqXF6GmYPNubnXhehRp389tXCh2gDQX/s320/girls-gone-wild-aprchallenge-girls-gone-wild-demotivational-poster-1271154010.jpg)
16. When the Persian kings are dining or feasting, their legitimate
wives sit at their side. But when they wish to amuse themselves or get
tipsy, they send those wives away and summon their minstrel-women and
concubines. The practice is a right one, at least to the extent that
they do not permit their wives to take part in wanton and licentious
scenes. So, if a private man, who lacks self-control or good-breeding in
his pleasures, is guilty of a lapse with a common woman or a menial,
the wife should not be indignant and resentful, but should reflect that,
out of respect for her, he finds some other woman to share his riot and
lasciviousness.
17. When kings are fond of music, they make many musicians; when of
learning, learned men; when of athletics, gymnasts. So when the love of a
husband is for the person, his wife will be all for dress; when for
pleasure, she becomes lewd and wanton; when for goodness and virtue, she
shows herself discreet and chaste.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ0Gjn6nD_0dRanSZ94Z5Gw1fzACBvepg3bvuiDjxSoWLq-M9lub7Mk57rh0sCnSSvxsnLy_e_3kCiBXNvfdG8w3IoUaQ860S7VA5z6WQ7UzmX3qAVK8mLLkhaEr_-9dnJOKVqpw9V9J9o/s200/embrace-andrea-barbieri.jpg)
18. When a Lacedaemonian girl was once asked whether she had already
embraced a man, she answered, "No, indeed; but he has embraced me."
Such, I believe, is the right attitude for a lady--not to shun or
dislike caresses, when the husband begins them, nor yet to begin them of
her own accord. The one course is bold and immodest, the other
disdainful and unaffectionate.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4kSKHF6EVMp-BzY-30ruG_eTpTyck3yv40TzkhB3B-KA7DDab6Hb79mJHaW0kamLQMdAR6RkSzIrXd1mBYKzIo0xwAdqKJEaef7pIlP4N1-RSN0NUoG7f0lvaLigYbyDzFCI0YrAtvpPp/s320/facebook-logo-secret-friends.png)
19. The woman ought not to possess private friends, but to share
those of the man. But first and greatest are the gods, and it is
therefore right for the wife to reverence or acknowledge only those gods
who are recognized by the husband. Her street-door should be kept shut
to out-of-the-way forms of worship and alien superstitions. No deity
finds gratification in ceremonies which a woman performs in secret and
by stealth.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/03/woman-most-responsible-teenager-in-house.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLqzNsLa9AUb3ac70xMEG-TJl3hpR5sMV-CknVzEy2CbDODYBq47ydMJUTK8rNkz2jUhEnG9-opPn78qoPNKnrWGpS6QcK8xVS6ngQOupd1lT5URx8zWLpGmPZadv7NOIBJHau1eA-eY8/s200/What's+Mine+is+Mine+and+What's+Yours+is+Ours.JPG) |
Click for "Woman: The Most Responsible Teenager in the House?" |
20. Plato holds that a community is in a state of blissful
well-being when the expressions "mine" and "not mine" are scarcely ever
heard, inasmuch as the citizens enjoy, as far as possible, the common
use of everything worth considering. Much more ought such language to be
abolished from the married state. In the same way, however, in which
medical men tell us that a blow on the left side produces an answering
sensation in the right, it is proper for a wife to sympathize with her
husband's concerns and the husband with the wife's. In this way, just as
ropes, when interwoven, lend each other strength, so, through each
party reciprocating the other's goodwill, the partnership will be
maintained by both combined. Nature blends us through the body in such a
way as to take a portion from each, and by commingling produce an
offspring common to both, so that neither can define or distinguish an
"own" part from "another's". The same sort of partnership between
married persons should assuredly exist in respect of money also. They
should pour it all into a single fund, and blend it in such a way that
they never think of one part as "own" and one as "another's", but treat
it all as "own" and none of it as "another's". And as we call a mixture
"wine", though it may contain a greater proportion of water, so the
property of the house should be said to belong to the man, even though
the wife may contribute the larger share.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqlKN_Jp9Of71h9wttafkGJAiKgLl0AZtqZaIQFmKRSibEMLCnJf5pL9BAiZOilGUj7YB9f_RrVfR7fU5ieCX-tIoym2a3k64Mfstx6souqoNL5hGDw6aZ02HYm9K__I-bHS9zWqpYIdky/s200/troy-poster-forlove_1081541201.jpg)
21. Helen loved wealth, and Paris loved pleasure: Odysseus was wise,
and Penelope discreet. Hence the union of the latter pair was happy and
enviable, while that of the former brought upon Greeks and Asiatics an
"Iliad of Woes".
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0hVFVqNTgbOTNfWSfsoWR-cSfTQag3ftXgrGVfpyOJfej8c5vQHyRuEmujw1vm57kzbnZCh2ApAnRe3-3mGlOZ8hogawuDy7KKHYqGRFoWsjWFjzEqObX63mLu6bHxmTbo31_KeHgxxDu/s200/Blisters_sore_feet_ART.jpg)
22. When the Roman was admonished by his friends for having divorced
a wife who was chaste, rich, and beautiful, he stretched out his shoe
and remarked: "Yes, and this looks fine and new, but no one knows where
it chafes me." The wife must not rely upon her dowry, her birth, or her
beauty. The matters in which she touches her husband most closely are
conversation, character, and companionship. Instead of making these
harsh and vexatious day after day, she must render them compatible,
soothing, and grateful. Physicians are more afraid of fevers which
spring from vague causes gradually accumulating, than of those for which
there is a great and manifest reason. So it is these little, continual,
daily frictions between man and wife, which the world knows nothing of,
that do most to create the rifts which ruin married life.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/03/proverbs-3110-31-wife-of-noble.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBczaJAqRpjv86skBjrJQDV9sWr7gGd61Dik8vMniuVt6ZYo9-ubkavcAXu0sxaAVyc6vxv3vdT0PTYR5IwsbVSzHWhavM1-SFVMylsnCuRaaklG5QuwkhBBv1S4BfbYR5wdbbNauKF90/s1600/woman_make_me_a_sandwich_.jpg) |
Click for "The Wife of Noble Character" |
23. King Philip was once enamoured of a Thessalian woman who was
charged with bewitching him. Olympias [Philip's wife] thereupon became
eager to get this person into her power. When, upon presenting herself,
she not only turned out to be a handsome woman, but spoke with
considerable nobility and good sense, Olympias said: "Those calumnies
are all nonsense! Your witchcraft lies in yourself." How irresistible a
thing is a married and lawful wife, if, by treating everything--dowry,
birth, philtres, the very girdle1 of Aphrodite--as lying in herself, she
conquers affection by means of character and virtue!
1 Which contained "every charm: love, desire, and sweet converse" (Homer, Il. xiv. 214).
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvoRiyuCs6P7YWGbYq8DkFe3IPpOb0Y0FeUTH3iQBxQcbO_XZk-hccTAk6bxOd32ecUHtdhz1CK0b7WIUbKNkQnqEAtXKqngo7OlpRrmbp5kYUynDBXNQ3xCuEBgocF26IfWDLjVu9RMOo/s200/infatuation4.jpg)
24. On another occasion, when a youthful courtier had married a
handsome woman of bad repute, Olympias remarked, "The fellow has no
judgement; otherwise he would not have married with his eyes." Marriage
should not be made with tile eyes; neither should it with the fingers,
as it is in the case of some, who reckon up the amount of the dower,
instead of calculating the companionable quality, of the wife they are
marrying.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9VRF59gBv5nMbVeBnvkjxb1EAsCZHZgDzSmyRW0Uzl8AzUYWNNNb-3q2UNSFMQA_CF18h07Sp3VWkiD8hsswZVD1U5GXO5__bYLLTQaOGOch1YBYsBTin0v0neIX5QuiipWsMM8PCeSP5/s200/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall.jpg)
25. To young men who are fond of looking at themselves in the mirror
Socrates recommended that the ugly should correct their defects by
virtue, while the handsome should avoid spoiling their beauty by vice.
It is a good thing for the married woman also, while she is holding the
mirror, to talk to herself, and, if she is plain, to ask, "And what if I
show myself indiscreet?" if beautiful, "And what if I show myself
discreet as well!" The plain woman may pride herself on being loved for
her character, and the handsome woman on being loved more for her
character then her beauty.
26. When the Sicilian despot sent Lysander's daughters a set of
costly mantles and chains, he refused to accept them. "These bits of
ornaments," said he, "will rather take from my daughters' beauty than
set it off." Lysander, however, was anticipated by Sophocles in the
lines:
Nay, 'twould not seem, poor fool, to beautify,
But to unbeautify, and prove thee wanton.
As Crates used to say, "Adornment is that which adorns," and that
which adorns is that which adds to a woman's seemliness. This is not
done by gold or jewels or scarlet, but by whatever invests her with
the badges of dignity, decorum, and modesty.
27. In sacrificing to Hera as goddess of marriage, the gall is not
burned with the other portions of the sacrifice, but is taken out and
thrown down at the side of the altar--an indirect injunction of the
legislator that gall and anger should have no place in the married
state. The austerity of the lady of the house, like the dryness of wine,
should be wholesome and palatable, not bitter like aloes or unpleasant
like a drug.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr_eM5sp4DghwKjCRtE9-4epR3H8THlm8dm1eLlgmvaMttedgs-fF4CaR6ZTIZe3BQ1DGo5aafSdt1vWv8qYBWroDX5Pj-yGK9VQ_8fsYUrDlyljEwr7RWPAowoD7nUcQnCGwWKYGTqVPf/s200/temperanceab3.jpg)
28. Xenocrates being somewhat harsh in character, though otherwise a
high type of man, Plato recommended him to sacrifice to the Graces. Now
I take it that a woman of strict morals stands in special need of the
graces in dealing with her husband, so that--as Metrodorus used to
say--she may live with him on pleasant terms and not "in a temper
because she is chaste". A woman should no more forget to be amiable
because she is faithful, than to be neat because she is thrifty. Decorum
in a woman is rendered as disagreeable by harshness as frugality is by
sluttishness.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihyphenhyphenlOtYTqb07SxLlq1UAUZcDxRyRrqv-T6qryvbPzcfjmiUISejAUPRm8xrE8ZFZeaKI7pNk0zDC_YLshvuP3PShZCpwAJPDPzcrnOUq3BkwvgdXerG25Feo2_zTaFTXe-hUcSXVOjwQhN/s200/god-is-a-comedian-playing-to-an-audience-too-afraid-to-laugh.jpg)
29. A wife who is afraid to laugh and joke with her husband for fear
of seeming bold and wanton, is as bad as the woman who, from fear of
being thought to use ointments on her head, does not even oil it,1 and,
to avoid seeming to rouge her face, does not even wash it. We find that
when poets and orators avoid appealing to the vulgar by bad taste and
affectation in respect of their diction, they practise every art to
attract and stir the hearer with their matter, their treatment, and
their moral quality. So the lady of the house, because she avoids and
deprecates--as she is quite right to do--extravagant or meretricious
demonstration, ought all the more to bring the graces of character and
conduct into play in dealing with her husband, thus habituating him to
proper ways, but in a pleasurable manner. If, however, a wife shows
herself strait-laced and rigidly austere, her husband must put the best
face upon it. When Antipater required Phocion to perform an improper and
degrading action, he answered, "I cannot serve you both as your friend
and your toady." In the same way, when a woman is staid and
strait-laced, our reflection should be, "The same woman cannot behave to
me as both a wife and a mistress."
1 The use of oil to soften the hair was practically universal.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnM28_TunQznpqLWJ1_CnzOvKcuG8jZWXtfz8Wrw7COkIhem1cZ-CjKrF1dEKPE5-OCpojRHiR9WqjRPwaR4Urp2ibw4UCkRHMcSNddp4yJXqyghPrQjehlrhEMlhaDMumZL_dqpj1Us-w/s200/barefoot-pregnant-kitchen-620x350.jpg)
30. By a national custom the Egyptian women wore no shoes, so that
they might keep at home all day. In the case of most women, to deprive
them of gold-worked shoes, bangles, anklets, purple, and pearls, is to
make them stay indoors.
31. Theano, in putting on her mantle, once showed a glimpse of her
arm. Upon some one saying, "A beautiful forearm!" she retorted, "But not
for the public!" A well-conducted woman will keep, not only her
forearm, but her speech, from publicity. She will be as shy and cautious
about her utterances to the outside world as if they were an exposure
of her person, inasmuch as, when she talks, they are a revelation of
feelings, character, and disposition.
32. Pheidias, in representing the Elean Aphrodite with her foot upon
a tortoise, meant women to take it as a symbol of home-keeping and
silence. A woman should talk either to, or through the medium of, her
husband; nor should she resent it if, like a player on the clarinet, she
finds a more impressive utterance through another tongue than through
her own.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/03/the-fraud-of-modern-marriage.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj22Vtz4P2nCSi9NHGxwz_fnoPGttUSTGu52XnWi8ZVpayzuvzpudqAYNFZDpOGUeD4EJvbKf4frdZ702-TFmCz1zgiEqmuaeiL_Ah-7DWsk_04FD-NP2FpH70gN7wX-zfO53B0PZvUJgs/s200/Copy+of+Anti-Feminist-25.jpg) |
Click for "The Fraud of Modern Marriage" |
33. When rich or royal persons pay respect to a philosopher, they do
honour both to themselves and to him. But when a philosopher pays court
to rich people, he is not conferring distinction upon them, bur
lowering his own. The same is the case with women. By submission to
their husbands they win regard; by seeking to govern them they demean
themselves worse than the men so governed. Meanwhile it is only right
that the husband, in controlling the wife, should not be like an owner
dealing with a chattel, but like the mind dealing with the
body--sympathetic with the sympathy of organic union. It is possible to
care for the body without being a slave to its pleasures and desires,
and it is possible to rule a wife and yet do things to please and
gratify her.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/03/the-suffragettes-versus-patriarchy.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqN6DbWWKiTXG-ylW6RWqnnBd-OD5brPmXYLoG3giUdo72YUZq2KBhiVhlr70lU49DbJcAGB_iDCbt6NIkmVr6ohtJ1fT7liaHLwB0fD7yjpF4AMXQa3eZdewqZyPbXxExKfS4Gl8Vz6E/s1600/1195427607377807441Stellaris_Yin_Yang.svg.med.png) |
Click for "The Suffragettes versus The Patriarchy" |
34. Compound objects are classified by philosophers as follows. In
some the parts are distinct, as in a fleet or army. In some they are
conjoined, as in a house or ship. In others they form an organic unity,
as in all living creatures. We may say much the same of marriage. The
marriage of love is the "organic unity"; the marriage for a dowry or for
children is that of persons "conjoined"; marriage without sharing the
same couch is that of persons "distinct", who may be said to dwell
together, but not to live together. With persons marrying, there should
be a mutual blending of bodies, means, friends, and relations, in the
same way as, according to the scientists, when liquids are mixed, the
mixture runs through the whole. When the Roman legislator forbade
married couples to exchange presents, he did not mean that they should
not impart to each other, but that they should look upon everything as
joint property.
35. At Leptis in Africa it is a traditional custom for the bride, on
the day after marriage, to send to the bridegroom's mother to borrow a
pot. The latter refuses, saying she has none. The intention is that the
bride may realize from the first the "step- mother" attitude of her
mother-in-law, so that, if anything more disagreeable happens
afterwards, she may not be vexed or irritated. The wife should
understand this fact and apply treatment to its cause, which is, that
the mother is jealous of her son's affections. There is but one
treatment for this state of mind. While winning the special affection of
her husband for herself, she must avoid detaching or lessening his
affection for his mother.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/03/the-amazon-women-science-of-why-males.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUpgorbem4oW3W6ECfVwwgUzW7NvV0niFlmohU27yk8sPuZmXjHuDNvT_RiwH7Elip943mkvXotb24GrKnMFj4DaMEsL7IMsvhToP-Rgu7Q9eH46gSZVXsX3_k3eoFFpsH3CqZBAvNSi0/s200/pregnant_woman_with_hammer_and_nail_11has0089rf.jpg) |
Click Pic for "You're Such a Tool!" |
36. Mothers appear to be more fond of their sons, because those sons
are able to help them, and fathers of their daughters, because
daughters need their help. Maybe also it is out of compliment to each
other that both parties desire to be seen making much of that which is
more akin to the other. This, perhaps, is a trait of no importance, but
there is another which is charming. I mean, when the wife's respect is
seen to incline rather to the husband's parents than to her own, and
when, in case of anything troubling her, she refers it to them and
conceals it from her own people. If you are thought to trust, you are
trusted; if you are thought to love, you are loved.
37. The Greeks who accompanied Cyrus received the follow- ing order
from their commanders: "If the enemy come shouting to the attack, await
them in silence; if they come in silence, charge to meet them with a
shout." When a husband has his fits of anger, if he raises his voice, a
sensible wife keeps quiet; if he is silent, she soothes him by talking
to him in a coaxing way.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/03/the-myth-of-tiresias-and-ten-pleasures.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1lWNZXIwMPTKQw5KdJQgI3I33YO_u4YIgbsAR9tZ2bxH9nxIQj3kyfymahXbaQWNkDRPRRaMlc4KX3uq_IUdRlT3fW37nWts_QcVueSrWsbrArixwNDA458eivOtDDhEmeeF4LjRN8L0m/s320/tiresias%252520krauss.jpg) |
Click Pic for "Tiresias and the Ten Pleasures of Sex" |
38. Euripides is right in blaming those who have the lyre played to
them at their wine. Music is more properly called in to cure anger and
grief than to encourage further abandon- ment on the part of those who
are taking their pleasure. So I would have you believe that it is a
wrong principle to share the same bed for the sake of pleasure, and yet,
when you are angry or fall out, to sleep apart. That is exactly the
time to call in the Goddess of Love, who is the best physician for such
cases. This is practically the reaching of the poet, when he makes Hera
say:
And their tangled strife will I loosen,
When to their couch I bring them, to meet in love and in union.
39. At all times and everywhere a wife should avoid offending the
husband, and a husband the wife; but especially should they beware of
doing so when together at night. In the story, the wife, in the vexation
of her throes, used to say to those who were putting her to bed: "How
can this couch cure a trouble which befell me upon it." So quarrels,
recriminations, and tempers which are begotten in the chamber are not
easily got over in another place or at another time.
40. There appears to be a truth in Hermione's plea:
'Tis wicked women's visits have undone me.
This occurs in more than one way, but especially when connubial
quarrels and jealousies offer to such women not only an open door, but
an open ear. At such a time, therefore, should a sensible woman shut her
ears, keep out of the way of slanderous whispers which add fuel to the
fire, and be ready to apply the well-known saying of Philip. We are told
that when his friends were trying to exasperate that monarch against
the Greeks-- on the ground that, though he treated them well, they
abused him--he remarked, "Well, and what, pray, if we treat them badly?"
So, when the scandalizers say, "Your husband grieves you, in spite of
all your affection and chastity," you should retort, "And what, pray, if
I begin to hate and wrong him?"
41. A man caught sight of a slave who had run away some time before,
and gave chase. When the slave was too quick, and took refuge in a
mill, he observed, "And in what better place could I have wished to find
you than where you are?''
1 So let a woman who is declaring for a
divorce through jealousy say to herself, "And where would my rival be
more glad to see me? And what would she be more pleased to see me doing,
than harbouring a grievance, at feud with my husband, and actually
abandoning the house and the marriage-chamber?"
1 A common punishment for a slave was to put him to hard labour in turning the mill, in place of a horse or ass.
42. The Athenians observe three sacred ploughings; the first at
Sciron, in memory of the oldest sowing of crops; the second in the
Rharian district; and the third--known as the Buzygian festival--close
to the Acropolis. More sacred than all of these is the connubial
ploughing and sowing for the procreation of children. It is a happy
expression of Sophocles, when he calls Aphrodite "fair-fruited
Cytherea". Man and wife should therefore be especially scrupulous in
this connexion, keeping pure from unholy and unlawful intercourse with
others, and forbearing to sow where they desire no crop to grow, or, if
it does, are ashamed of it and seek to conceal it.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSpF83_Tcp-7ijStCI9qrQPcJoqczbgP-TaIpDwiUC9HYjZaYhZU8JN5VoTNOI6hvGJr8KhCnQ9zAmzLg-PHx6vQumycvZBhuUdNl5aNmJM9Z2hIjZtzOqCCZZYgdtZ6I99n07LFhUtWHj/s320/giphy6.gif)
43. When Gorgias the rhetorician once read to the Greeks at Olympia a
discourse upon peace and harmony, Melanthius exclaimed, "Here is a man
giving us advice about peace and harmony, when in private life he has
failed to harmonize three people--himself, his wife, and his
maidservant." For Gorgias, it appears, was enamoured, and his wife
jealous, of the domestic [maidservant]. A man's house ought to be in
tune before he offers to set in tune a state, a public meeting, or
friends. The public is more likely to hear of offences against a wife
than of offences committed by her.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGqSMefHDMe_XhYgcQ-WuBvm1ys2CukVt8Xhx69cDUniorLgSln6iQ0zoZdUyWz9qd5Y2sozYt-n-0uTq9mqZ0MNLlmh6GHJAePBHH3jg-8lxfVO0TXTwq4MC8gHwt9E_MqtMk9_Btdq8J/s200/Perfume_Oils_Essential_Oils_Perfumes_Spiritual_Perfume_Oils_Seduction_Perfume_Unguent_Paste.jpg)
44. They say that the cat is driven frantic by the smell of
unguents. If it had been the case that women were provoked out of their
senses by the same means, it would have been a monstrous thing for men
not to abstain from unguents, and to let their wives suffer so cruelly
for the sake of a trifling gratification of their own. Now since,
though the husband's use of unguents does not so afflict them, his
dealings with other women do, it is unjust to cause such vexation and
distress to a wife for the sake of a little pleasure. On the contrary,
husbands should come to their wives pure and untainted by other
intercourse, just as they would approach bees, who are said to show
disgust and hostility rewards any one who has been so engaged.
![http://the-light-house-keeper.blogspot.ca/2015/05/the-history-of-rome-titus-livius.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IuM80mXS7gCtzruYpi7oWU-uZt434fMQy0cRjey7epIReKsQxiCcfQVWqkVO01XkjNb4akOoLVuPPCzM6BG1RBvGeKVrhcb3uRxBYSWyNz62C4b1jDP7sXQfDk4Xfe9RhuUZbJUAbxBR/s200/slut3.jpg) |
Click for "The History of Rome" by Titus Livius |
45. People never dress in bright clothes when approaching an
elephant, nor in red when approaching a bull, since the animals in
question are particularly infuriated by those colours. Of tigers it is
said that, if you beat drums all around them, they go mad and tear
themselves to pieces. Surely, then, inasmuch as some men cannot bear to
see scarlet or purple clothes, and some are irritated at cymbals and
tambourines, it is not asking too much for women to leave such things
alone, and not harass or exasperate their husbands, but practise
quietude and con- sideration in their society.
46. When Philip was once seizing upon a woman against her will, she
said, "Let me go. All women are the same when you take away the light."
While this applies well enough to adulterers and sensualists, it is
particularly when the light is taken away that a wife should not be the
same as any ordinary female. Her person may not be visible, but her
modesty, chastity, decorum, and natural affection should make themselves
palpable.
47. Plato used to recommend that respect should rather be paid by
elderly men to the young, so that the latter might behave modestly to
them in return. For, said he, "where old men lie shameless" the young
acquire no modesty or scruple. A husband should bear this in mind, and
show more respect to his wife than to any one else, since the nuptial
chamber will prove to be her school of propriety or its opposite. The
husband who indulges himself in certain pleasures, while warning her
against the same, is as bad as the man who bids his wife fight on
against an enemy to whom he has himself surrendered.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPsmVrfggene6UKk2583kCfln3Tv0q3DTONcf8QqmdYnBUEDqjUNSj4HcEfBIwn4XTAN6hwKQ67iBaHcvShnHSlVTLJV24pGHE-4vIkxTG4ONJZPovTWrpo6sqdD78kEL33sC5cXrmgVTk/s1600/Beyond_Extravagance_1_jpg_290x193_crop_q85.jpg)
48. As to love of display, do you, Eurydice, read and endeavour to
remember what Timoxena wrote to Aristylla. And you, Pollianus, must not
expect your wife to refrain from showy extravagance, if she sees that
you do not despise it in other matters, but that you take a pleasure in
cups with gilding, rooms with painted walls, mules with decorated
harness, and horses with neck-trappings. You cannot banish extravagance
from the women's quarters when it has the free run of the men's. You are
at the right age to cultivate philosophy. Adorn your character,
therefore, by listening to careful reasoning and demonstration in
improving company and conversation. Be like the bees. Gather valuable
matter from every source. Carry it home in yourself, and share it with
your wife by discussing it and making all the best principles agreeable
and familiar to her. While
Thou unto her art father, and honoured mother, and brother,
it is no less a matter of pride to hear a wife say, "Husband, thou
unto me art guide, philosopher, and teacher of the noblest and divinest
lessons." It is studies of this kind that tend to keep a woman from
foolish practices. She will be ashamed to be dancing, when she is
learning geometry. She will lend no ear to the incantations of sorcery,
when she is listening to those of Plato and Xenophon. When any one
promises to fetch down the moon,1 she will laugh at the ignorance and
silliness of women who believe such things; for she will possess a
knowledge of astronomy, and will have heard how Aglaonice, the daughter
of Hegetor of Thessaly, thoroughly understood eclipses of the full moon,
how she knew beforehand the date at which it must be caught in the
shadow, and how she thereby cheated the women into believing that she
was fetching it down herself.
![http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.ca/2015/02/humanity-transmitted-through.html](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3hkB-59a5Z7CjHFGW5zqJqgKx8ppr46s6Pm825jb3PQNOeeV8TnM4ISi_lwVRRPKtVH9-_20QF5rl7EdxciakJaYvVImG0eOAhyVZ2Yknrxsn8fM-4XuLofxlNOhemX1FOFnCTms9SBxS/s200/singlemothers2.jpg) |
Click for "Humanity Transmitted Through Generations" |
We are told that no woman produces a child without the participation
of the man, though there are shapeless and fleshlike growths--called
"millstones"--which form themselves spontaneously from corrupted
matter. We must beware of this occurring in women's minds. If they are
not impregnated with sound doctrines by sharing in the culture of their
husbands, they will of their own accord conceive many an ill-advised
intention or irrational state of feeling.
As for you, Eurydice, above all things do your best to keep touch
with the sayings of wise and good men, and to have continually in your
mouth those utterances which you learned by heart in my school when a
girl. By so doing, you will not only be a joy to your husband, but the
admiration of other women, when they see how, at no expense, you can
adorn yourself with so much distinction and dignity.
This rich woman's pearls, that foreign lady's silks, are not to be
worn without paying a large price for them. But the ornaments of
Theano, of Cleobuline, of Gorgo the wife of Leonidas, of Timoclea the
sister of Theagenes, of the Claudia of ancient history, and al Cornelia
the daughter of Scipio, you may wear for nothing; and with this
adornment your life may be as happy as it is distinguished. Sappho
thought so much of her skill as a lyrist that she wrote-- addressing a
wealthy woman--
When thou art dead, thou shalt lie with none to remember thy name:
For no portion hast thou in the roses Pierian. . . .
You will assuredly have more occasion to think highly and
proudly of yourself, if you have a portion, not only in the roses, but
also in the fruits, which the Muses bring as free gifts to those who
prize culture and philosophy.
1 A frequent pretence of ancient witches.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOURCE:
The preceding text is part of Plutarch's Moralia or Moral Essays,
more specifically, it was taken from Selected Essays of Plutarch, Vol.
1, translated by T. G. Tucker, Clarendon Press, Oxford, 1913, p. 96-112.
Certain minor modifications were made to the text to suit the medium
and purpose used here. For example, page breaks and numbering were
omitted, as well as marginal reference systems; footnotes were
repositioned to fall under the numbered section in which they were used
as opposed to the previous page bottom.
No attempt was made to Americanize or modernize the spelling,
hopefully readers will have no trouble recognizing that, for example,
connexion = connection.
This page was prepared by Spartacus, Editor of
The Men's Tribune; repostings must include this link. Please report errors.
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